Mad Libs, Anyone?

When I was a kid, Mad Libs were the bomb. I got a book for Christmas one year, and we played the game until our sides nearly burst. Okay, kids are easy to entertain, but still… Mad Libs rule.

All bloggers get Mad Libs comments from time to time: random, strangely-worded spam in their comments section. The people/programs writing them have a system to make each comment appear unique, when they actually are just a set of word-replacement rules. Thanks to one commenter, who incorrectly programmed his robot, we got the whole kit and caboodle in one post. Feel free to use this as a reference guide to creating your own, very sincere and unique blog comments.

{
{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online
more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
{It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers
made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed}
as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail}
subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter}
service. Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me
{realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could}
subscribe. Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make some plans for
the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.
{I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish
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{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles
referring to this article. I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make {a few|some} plans for {the future|the longer term|the long run} and {it is|it’s} time to be
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up} and if I {may just|may|could} I {want to|wish to|desire
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{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write {next|subsequent} articles {relating to|referring
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{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line}
{more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no
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{enough|sufficient} for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made {just
right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably
be|can be|will likely be} {much more|a lot more}
{useful|helpful} than ever before.|
Ahaa, its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {discussion|conversation|dialogue} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of}
this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph}
{here|at this place} at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, I have read all that, so {now|at this time} me also commenting {here|at this place}.|
I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has touched all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors}, its
really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building
up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.|
Wow, this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, my {sister|younger sister} is analyzing {such|these|these
kinds of} things, {so|thus|therefore} I am going to {tell|inform|let know|convey}
her.|
{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really
like|I like|I love} {your blog|your site|your web site|your website}!|
Way cool! Some {very|extremely} valid points! I appreciate you {writing this|penning
this} {article|post|write-up} {and the|and
also the|plus the} rest of the {site is|website
is} {also very|extremely|very|also really|really} good.|
Hi, {I do believe|I do think} {this is an excellent|this
is a great} {blog|website|web site|site}. I stumbledupon it ;) {I will|I am going to|I’m going
to|I may} {come back|return|revisit} {once again|yet again}
{since I|since i have} {bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} it.
Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to change, may you
be rich and continue to {help|guide} {other people|others}.|
Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of this {site|website|blog}.
It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard}
to get that “perfect balance” between {superb usability|user friendliness|usability}
and {visual appearance|visual appeal|appearance}. I must say {that you’ve|you have|you’ve} done a {awesome|amazing|very
good|superb|fantastic|excellent|great} job with this. {In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for
me on {Safari|Internet explorer|Chrome|Opera|Firefox}. {Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent}
Blog!|
These are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging.
You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here.
Any way keep up wrinting.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to
be} up too. {This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever
work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}! Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook} group shared this {site|website}
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I’m definitely {enjoying|loving} the information.

I’m {book-marking|bookmarking} and will be tweeting this
to my followers! {Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb}
{style and design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too.
{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of}
clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated|added|included} you guys to {|my|our|my personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you’re {working with|using}?
I’m {looking|planning|going} to start my own
blog {in the near future|soon} but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard} time {making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution
and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout} seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something {completely unique|unique}.

P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being} off-topic but I had to ask!|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind letting me know which {webhost|hosting company|web host}
you’re {utilizing|working with|using}? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 {completely different|different} {internet browsers|web browsers|browsers} and I must say this blog loads a lot
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price? {Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when
individuals|when folks|whenever people} {come together|get together} and share
{opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}. Great {blog|website|site},
{keep it up|continue the good work|stick with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup. It in fact was a
amusement account it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable
from you! {By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick heads up.

The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I’m not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or
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let you know. The {style and design|design and style|layout|design} look great though!

Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
{Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is} {close to|near to} my
heart… {Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank
you}! {Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
It’s very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to find
out any {topic|matter} on {net|web} as compared to {books|textbooks}, as I found this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} at this {website|web site|site|web page}.|
Does your {site|website|blog} have a contact page? I’m having {a
tough time|problems|trouble} locating it but, I’d like
to {send|shoot} you an {e-mail|email}. I’ve got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

Either way, great {site|website|blog} and I look forward to
seeing it {develop|improve|expand|grow} over time.|
{Hola|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Greetings}! I’ve been {following|reading} your
{site|web site|website|weblog|blog} for {a long time|a while|some time} now and finally got the {bravery|courage} to go ahead and give you a shout out from  
{New Caney|Kingwood|Huffman|Porter|Houston|Dallas|Austin|Lubbock|Humble|Atascocita} {Tx|Texas}!
Just wanted to {tell you|mention|say} keep up the {fantastic|excellent|great|good} {job|work}!|
Greetings from {Idaho|Carolina|Ohio|Colorado|Florida|Los angeles|California}!

I’m {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided
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I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide} here and can’t wait
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Its {like you|such as you} {read|learn} my {mind|thoughts}!
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{I think|I feel|I believe} {that you|that you simply|that
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{A great|An excellent|A fantastic} read. {I’ll|I will} {definitely|certainly} be back.|
I visited {multiple|many|several|various} {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} {but|except|however} the
audio {quality|feature} for audio songs {current|present|existing} at this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {marvelous|wonderful|excellent|fabulous|superb}.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time to time} and
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If so how do you {prevent|reduce|stop|protect against} it,
any plugin or anything you can {advise|suggest|recommend}?
I get so much lately it’s driving me {mad|insane|crazy} so any {assistance|help|support}
is very much appreciated.|
Greetings! {Very helpful|Very useful} advice {within this|in this particular} {article|post}!
{It is the|It’s the} little changes {that make|which
will make|that produce|that will make} {the biggest|the largest|the
greatest|the most important|the most significant} changes.
{Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks} for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love
{your blog|your site|your website}.. {Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme.
Did you {create|develop|make|build} {this website|this site|this web site|this amazing
site} yourself? Please reply back as I’m {looking to|trying to|planning to|wanting to|hoping to|attempting
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called|is named}. {Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post} {couldn’t|could not} be
written {any better|much better}! {Reading through|Looking at|Going through|Looking through} this {post|article} reminds
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to him. {Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he’ll|he’s going to} {have a good|have a very good|have a great} read.
{Thank you for|Thanks for|Many thanks for|I appreciate you for} sharing!|
{Wow|Whoa|Incredible|Amazing}! This blog looks {exactly|just}
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{Excellent|Wonderful|Great|Outstanding|Superb} choice of colors!|
{There is|There’s} {definately|certainly} {a lot to|a great deal to} {know about|learn about|find out
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{all the|all of the} points {you made|you’ve made|you have made}.|
{You made|You’ve made|You have made} some {decent|good|really good} points there.
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{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, I {log on to|check|read} your {new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular
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every {little bit of|bit of} it. {I have|I’ve got|I have got} you {bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} {to check out|to look at} new {stuff you|things you} post…|
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It was {inspiring|funny|practical|helpful}.
Keep on posting!|
I {{leave|drop|{write|create}} a {comment|leave a response}|drop
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And {on|after} this {post|article} The Secret to Thriving
in Life’s Transitions: Live Life Loosely! | Prosperitas Coaching.
I {{was|was actually} moved|{was|was actually} excited} enough to
{drop|{leave|drop|{write|create}}|post} a {thought|{comment|{comment|leave a response}a response}} {:-P|:)|;)|;-)|:-)} I {do have|actually do
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{Hi there|Hello}, I enjoy reading {all of|through} your {article|post|article post}.
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My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move to .net from PHP.
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{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}! I could have sworn
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{Other than that|Apart from that|Besides that|Aside from that},
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{Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent} {task|process|activity|job}!|
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{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}!

{I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for
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{I have|I’ve} bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
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{I’m|I am} {gonna|going to} {watch out|be careful} for brussels.
{I will|I’ll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in
the event you|in case you|for those who|if you happen to} {continue|proceed} this {in future}.
{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might
be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out of your}
writing. Cheers!|
{I am|I’m} curious to find out what blog {system|platform}
{you have been|you happen to be|you are|you’re} {working with|utilizing|using}?
I’m {experiencing|having} some {minor|small} security {problems|issues}
with my latest {site|website|blog} and {I would|I’d} like
to find something more {safe|risk-free|safeguarded|secure}.
Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?|
{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} impressed with your writing skills {and also|as well as} with the layout on your {blog|weblog}.
Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify} it yourself?
{Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog
like this one {these days|nowadays|today}.|
{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with your|along
with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {blog|weblog}.
{Is this|Is that this} a paid {subject|topic|subject matter|theme} or did you {customize|modify} it {yourself|your self}?
{Either way|Anyway} {stay|keep} up the {nice|excellent} {quality|high quality} writing, {it’s|it is} {rare|uncommon} {to peer|to
see|to look} a {nice|great} {blog|weblog} like this one {these days|nowadays|today}..|
{Hi|Hello}, Neat post. {There is|There’s} {a problem|an issue} {with your|together with your|along with your} {site|web site|website} in {internet|web} explorer,
{may|might|could|would} {check|test} this? IE {still|nonetheless} is the {marketplace|market} {leader|chief} and
{a large|a good|a big|a huge} {part of|section of|component to|portion of|component of|element of} {other folks|folks|other
people|people} will {leave out|omit|miss|pass over} your {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent}
writing {due to|because of} this problem.|
{I’m|I am} not sure where {you are|you’re} getting
your {info|information}, but {good|great} topic.
I needs to spend some time learning {more|much more} or understanding more.
Thanks for {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} {information|info} I
was looking for this {information|info} for my mission.|
{Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web
site|site} {so|thus} i came to “return the favor”.{I am|I’m} {trying to|attempting to} find things to {improve|enhance} my {website|site|web site}!I suppose
its ok to use {some of|a few of} your ideas!!\

 

Does anyone speak English there?

I have a hate/hate relationship with Comcast/Xfinity, whatever. They are really the only good choice for high-speed internet in this part of the world. I was one of the first people to have cable internet in Denver, back when it was called @Home. Then, I moved to Littleton, and was the first person to get it there. You’d think that loyalty and longevity would mean something to them, but that’s a ridiculous notion you should put out of your silly little head, right now.

Although I have an email address  with them, I never use it for anything other than paying my bill. Never have given it to anyone. However, even though it’s an unusual username, I’ve started getting more spam from them than usual. Checked and found there was a spam filter that needed to be turned on. Did it. Spam didn’t stop.

I could just filter it out with my antivirus software, but that’s not the point. Their filter should keep it from getting it to my inbox in the first place. A notion that was impossible to get across to the “analyst” assigned to help me in chat.

  • Problem: I turned on the spam filter in my email, however, I’m still receiving spam. Did Comcast (Xfinity, whatever) sell my email address to advertisers? If so, I want to remove my email address from all such lists.
  • Ma Lizlie > Hello B, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Ma Lizlie. Please give me one moment to review your information.
  • B > My Issue: I turned on the spam filter in my email, however, I’m still receiving spam. Did Comcast (Xfinity, whatever) sell my email address to advertisers? If so, I want to remove my email address from all such lists.
  • Ma Lizlie > How are you doing today? (I really hate it when they ask dumb questions like this, just to stall)
  • B > Does Comcast sell my email address to advertisers? I never give this email address out, and only use it to pay my bill online.
  • Ma Lizlie > I understand that you are having issue with spam emails coming in on your inbox, B.
  • B > That’s correct (isn’t that what I said, twice?)
  • B > I have already turned on the spam filter, but it’s obviously not working
  • Ma Lizlie > I understand how frustrating this might be, I apologize for the inconvenience. Rest assured I will do everything within my means to address your concern today. (I feel so much better now)
  • Ma Lizlie > Are you using the Norton antivirus which is supplied by Comcast? (No, I use good antivirus software that I paid money for, but that’s beside the question)
  • B > The issue is NOT on my computer. The issue is in the email coming from your server. I can check the email online, and it is there. I don’t want to filter it AFTER you send it to me. The filter is supposed to stop it ever getting sent my way.
  • Ma Lizlie > The Norton antivirus can be has the feature to stop spam emails coming your inbox. (can be has?)
  • Ma Lizlie > This is a free version of Norton which is provided to Comcast customers. (Used it before, and it was worth exactly what I paid for it)
  • B > Duh. That is a different issue. What Norton does is filters the email as spam AFTER it is sent from your mail server. The spam filter on your server is supposed to stop the spam from ever getting sent to me.
  • B > The original question remains: Does Comcast/Xfinity sell email lists?
  • Ma Lizlie > Is your spam email filter on the Comcast email account won’t work, please do contact our Customer Assurance team to be able to enable it on your email account.
  • Ma Lizlie > Here is the contact number: 856-317-7272
  • B > One final question: Are you a human?
  • Ma Lizlie > Yes, B.
  • Ma Lizlie > I’m a live person.
  • B > A native English speaker?
  • Ma Lizlie > Yes.
  • B > The reason I ask is because you don’t seem to understand any of my questions.
  • Ma Lizlie > I understand that your concern is the spam emails coming in on your inbox and you have already set your spam filter for your email acocunt but this does not stop spam emails from coming in on your in box.
  • Ma Lizlie > I suggest that you use the Norton antivirus supplied by Comcast for the spam filter capability of it. (Still doesn’t get it – I want them filtered BEFORE they are sent to my Outlook. Novel idea, but effective.)
  • B > What about the question about Comcast selling email lists?
  • Ma Lizlie > But if this won’t work, I have refer you to our Custiomer Security Assurance to be able to check your emial account and the spam that keeps on coming your inbox.
  • Ma Lizlie > We do not sell to advertisers your email account. (Spoken like a true native English speaker)
  • Ma Lizlie > Our Customer Security Assurance can be able to check why youe email acocunt keeps on receiving spam emails.
  • B > So where in India are you?
  • Ma Lizlie > I’m sorry but I am not located in India,.
  • Ma Lizlie > We are located here in the Philippines.
  • B > That was my next question. Thanks. You’ve made my day.
  • B > Isn’t the official language of the P

…and that’s when my Comcast service went down, so it looks like the joke is on me. When it came back up, the chat session was closed. Surprise!

On a related note, for your enjoyment – Tech Support: Foamy the Squirrel

What the…

As a long time Bowie fan, I was surprised to hear that he has a new video out that I knew nothing about. Take away my Bowie card now, because, first, I didn’t know about it, and second, I do now, and What. The. Fuck. did I see? “Where Are We Now” is too weird, even for Bowie. Weird is, in fact, too mild a word for the creepy bizarreness of this production.

This video raises nothing but questions. Lots of them.

Who is the chick?
Why isn’t she doing anything?
Is she dead?
Is she the dead person he’s walking?
Is that even legal?
Why are they both ventriloquist dummies?
Why is his house such a mess?
Can’t he afford a housekeeper?
What’s in the big shopping bag?
What the heck is a dschungel? (Never mind. Looked that one up.)
Norway has a song?

I need answers, people. Anyone?


Am I, or am I not?

I sent Comcast an email requesting that they put me on a “do not contact” list so that their salespeople would stop coming by to attempt to sell me cable tv. I explained very clearly and succinctly that I don’t want cable tv, and the salespeople, in addition to giving me incorrect information, are wasting my time.

Got a reply a few hours later, and I’m not quite sure whether I have been opted out, or not. You tell me.  (The highlighting is mine.)

Dear Barbara,

Thank you for contacting Comcast, home of the Triple Play. You have reached Xfinity TV email support. My name is Gerardo and I will do my best to assist you with your concern.

I understand that you would like to let us know about your request to put you on the list to OPT-OUT of sales people coming to your door to sell you cable TV. I know how important it is for you to get rid of these people coming to your door to sell something and I will be glad to assist and help to guide you to this information in a timely manner. I apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused you.

Rest assured that we, at Comcast, are dedicated to provide you quality service and will diligently work to resolve all issues in a timely manner. We need to hear about any unsatisfactory situations in order to correct them and to enhance our level of customer service. I am glad to assist you with this matter. Rest assured that I will provide you with the information regarding your feedback.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We are continuously working to increase customer satisfaction and are putting a tremendous amount of resources into improving our customers’ experiences with us. We want to assure you that we do in fact recognize and acknowledge that we have room for improvement in our customer service, and that we are working diligently to ensure we can deliver a great experience to every customer, every time. Our goal is to deliver a positive experience to every customer we handle, every time.

We appreciate that you took the time to help us keep our commitment to quality customer care.

You may send your comments, suggestions, or any concerns that you might have by using the customer feedback form at the link below. Your feedback is important to us as we strive to improve our products, services, and overall customer experience.

http://www.comcast.com/customers/feedback/default.cspx

As part of our Comcast Customer Guarantee, you can always contact us at your convenience 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-934-6489) or chatting with us online.

Thank you for choosing Comcast. We value your business and have a great day, Barbara.

Sincerely,
Gerardo
Comcast Customer Care Specialist

I really appreciate that Gerardo is “glad to assist and help to guide you to this information in a timely manner.” and that he is “glad to assist you with this matter. Rest assured that I will provide you with the information regarding your feedback.” What’s missing is the “information” he’s so happy to provide. Am I opted-out or not? I guess I’ll have to ask the next Comcast salesperson who shows up at my door.

Spicoli would be so disappointed

Since medical marijuana has been legal in Colorado for about three years, and recreational marijuana is now (provisionally) legal here, you’d expect we’d have an establishment like this somewhere in the state. But, nope, it’s in Hamburg, Iowa. Stoner Drug

I wonder how many times a stoner has wandered in, thinking he’s hit the mother lode, just to leave empty-handed and bewildered.

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