In My Not So Humble Opinion

Archive for April, 2006

Some things that frighten me:

High places.
The reason: I’m pretty sure I’ll lose control and jump. Or I’ll lose my balance and fall. But mostly the jumping thing. I’ve heard the story time and again of how my uncle threw me into the air when I was an infant and alsmost didn’t catch me. Sounds like a good basis for fear.

Falling.
Really a subcategory for high places. But I also fear falling on ice in winter, falling when walking up or downhill, and falling on slippery floors when I’m wearing nice shoes and nice clothes, and everyone will see me fall.

Driving on bridges over large spans of water.
It feels as if I will fall through. Especially if the bridge is made of wood, or has spaces where I can see between to the water below. I don’t even like walking over cattle grates or grates in the sidewalk. I’m pretty sure they won’t hold my weight and I’ll fall through.

Spiders.
I’m getting better. I used to freak out so bad I couldn’t function, and then have icky dreams for days after seeing a spider. Now I think they are repulsive, but I still wouldn’t be in a room with a spider on purpose.
But then, my mind says…
How about when a spider drops from the ceiling by a thread, right in front of your face?
Or when you are outside and a spider thread goes across your face or body, so you don’t know if that was the middle, or the end, meaning a spider crash-landed on you?
Or how about when you put on a jacket you haven’t worn for awhile, and there’s a spider in the sleeve?

One time when I was a kid (don’t these things always start there?) I picked up an ice cube tray to drink the water from it. It was one of those copper trays where you pulled the handle up on the aluminum cube-separator thingy to break the cubes apart. Someone had taken the cubes and left the tray on the counter. The residual ice chips had mostly melted, so it was nice, frosty water. As I started to drink, I saw a spider doing the backstroke. Eeesh.

Spiders aren’t the only creepy bugs, by the way. Last year, I left my gardening gloves out on the deck rail. When I put them on, I squished a yellow-jacket in one finger. It still makes me feel creepy to think about it. I never ever leave gloves outside any more. I have also been known to hammer them a time or two to make sure nothing is alive inside.

Pain.
Not just that I will have pain, because I live with pain every day. But the fear comes from not knowing if the pain will ever stop.

Common Scary Things that don’t frighten me:

Death.
Either mine or a stranger’s. (Although I don’t want any friends or loved ones to die) I don’t like seeing mangled bodies or watching people die, but being dead is no big deal.

Snakes.
I respect the poisonous ones, but the rest are just slithery things. Not slimy, either, BTW. Although some smell pretty bad, that’s not scary. And as long as I pay attention and don’t piss them off, they won’t bite me. (Please don’t tell me I’m wrong.)

Things that alternately frighten me and piss me off:

Abuse of power.
This isn’t limited to our elected officials. It’s anyone and everyone who fights to curtail free speech, to limit our freedom to choose, or to exercise control over others to their own gain.

Stupid people.
Seems like a silly thing to be afraid of, but in my mind, stupid people are responsible for most of the daily crap that accumulates around us. They do stupid things like cut people off in traffic, engage in road rage. They say stupid things like “I’m not prejudiced, that (insert minority group) shouldn’t be allowed to live. Everybody knows they (Pick one or several:) breed like rats, use up all our government aid, are ungrateful, have no morals.” Etc. Wars start because of stupidity. Wars continue because of stupidity. Gangs, hate crimes, domestic violence, in fact, violence of all sorts, looting, cheating, the list goes on. All these things are the result of some stupid asshole not using his brain for its intended purpose, and doing just as he pleases without considering the consequences to himself or others.

Let’s find these stupid people and give him an education. Perhaps that’s something they should be afraid of.

I’ve been going through GI troubles for about 20 years, maybe more. No one ever checked my gall bladder. I’ve taken pretty blue pills, the purple pill, pink pills, green pills, and an assortment of colors I don’t recall. I’ve drank gallons of pepto-bismol, maalox, milanta, etc. I keep a box of immodium in each bathroom, and my purse. The list goes on and on. Turns out any or all of the previous symptoms could be due to a very sick gallbladder. The multiple lesions and adhesions most likely began years before the gallstones started forming.

There’s the chest pain, back pain, shoulder pain and neck pain that has been bothering me for several years, which also goes along with gall bladder problems. I’ve had upteen series of physical therapy, that didn’t do the trick.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on treatments that didn’t fix the problem. My insurance companies over all this time have paid even more. I can’t believe no one took a closer look at the real problem.

Now, the gall bladder may not have been the only cause. But it certainly was a cause. I’m not angry or vengeful, but I am frustrated that I was so ill for so long for no reason.

I am thankful for how well I feel now. Even with the post-op disomfort (aka: pain) I feel much, much better.

33This picture

This video44 Yatta!
Here’s just about everything you’d want to know about Yatta! And maybe a bit more than you’d like.

Alien Song by Victor Navone
I know you’ve seen it before. Look again. Still funny, huh?

These Songs:

2 High 4 The Supermarket by the Uninvited

Suicide by Bobby Gaylor

Trigger Happy by Weird Al
and You Don’t Love Me Anymore, and just about everything he’s ever recorded

And just about anything weird, strange, unusual and goofy or out of place.

Like what? you ask.

I saw a bobble-head Edgar Allen Poe on eBay today. That’s amusing.

Someone tried unsuccessfully to sell some cow poop he said he picked up at Area 51. Slightly amusing. He said many unusual things happened at the time he was there, but picking up cow poop wasn’t unusual. That’s amusing.

Nothing on the above list is laugh-out-loud funny. That stuff doesn’t happen all the time. But amusing, well it’s all around us. I figure if you cram a whole bunch of amusing things together, you can get a pretty darned good chuckle. Maybe even a great big belly laugh every now and then.