“You’re too close to my house!” is the best name for a network, ever, but I’m not sure whether it’s a warning or a taunt. But, they’ve set the bar pretty high. I’ve got to keep up with the Joneses and rename my network. Something more awesome than it is right now.

Here’s the list of possibilities, inspired by the 60 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes

• I invented the internet
• television by candlelight
• tip of the ice cube
• off button on
• alphabetical by height
• Norman Einstein

I’m leaning towards “Leave Britney alone!!” for its simplicity and social commentary. What do you think?

If you want to lend a hand, vote for your favorite in the comments. Or suggest one of your own. Anything but “home.”

Then, the Dell Precision 490 Workstation Star will continue to burn hot and bright, using up all its resources until it explodes as the Dell Super Nova. It will suck all energy from the earth and our galaxy will become a huge black hole, which will be powerful enough to draw in everything from all the neighboring galaxies, until there is nothing left. Life, as we know it, will end.

All because Dell couldn’t be bothered to put good case fans in their workstation computers. Way to go, Dell, you just destroyed the universe.

I celebrated the ability to type with both hands again by writing a guest post for the blog of my twitter friend, @stinginthetail. I talk about crystals, crazy celebrities, and vagazzling in You want me to stick rhinestones where?

(In case it’s not clear, @tweet_fail is one of my twitter accounts, that links to my other blog, Twitter-Fail.com.)

Once you read my post, stroll through the rest of her blog to discover why I like her so much.

I’m against discriminating against disabled people. I think everyone has the right to work, take care of themselves, and be a productive part of society. What I am against is the way some people turn every word, every phrase, and any imagined act into an act of discrimination.

A website called Disabled Feminists takes issue with the word lame. According to the Urban Dictionary, “lame” has a lot of definitions, only one of which means “a person who can’t walk.” The political correctness cops don’t care about that. They want to grip the original definition in a language vise, and force people to only use that word when referring to someone who can’t walk. Which confuses me, because we’re not supposed to use the word lame or disabled, either, so what is the fuzzy term we can use? I think a few years ago it was otherwise-abled, or handi-capable, but those are probably not in fashion anaymore.

From the thread:

“It’s a bit unclear when people started using the word in the context of events/situations/objects, although it appears to have started around the 18th century.”

So, is this the evolution of language, or 300 years of oppression? I’m saying the former.

Find me one instance within the past 10 years where the word has been used in common conversation to mean a person who can’t walk.

“This usage is highly divorced from its origin and needs to stop.”

Words evolve over time. In American English, many words have evolved from their original usage. To use words only as defined when they originated will remove the color and variety that make up the American English language.

“Weak” is ableist because weakness is part and parcel of some disabilities.”

Perhaps they mean weak, as in weak tea. (definition: deficient in the essential or usual properties or ingredients). Using that definition, there is no way that calling something else weak is ableist.

“Political Correctness” is the practice of censoring all the words that certain groups don’t want the rest of society to use in any way. More and more, people are concerned that anything and everything they say will bring down the wrath of the political correctness enforcers. Whether anyone was really insulted, or hurt by the words doesn’t matter. The language cops want us all to only think and speak in politically-approved ways.

There are certainly words that are meant to be perjorative, and were from first use. We should avoid those. But what about words that were never meant to harm, that some group has decided are harmful, because they want them to be ?

Should we all speak in Olde English. Should words only be used in their most literal definition, even if that word has multiple definitions? Should we shun every one who speaks differently from us, and embrace only those who speak exactly the way we do, and have the same values and prejudices? Yes, prejudices. Because choosing to be offended by the word usage of others, and expecting them to act as we wish, is a definite prejudice.

I have a disability. I don’t define myself by it. Being self-focused, and insulted every time someone uses a word that can be remotely related to my disability is a waste of time and energy. I have challenges I work with and through, and am more interested in associating with people I like who also like me. The more I call attention to our differences, the more negative attention I receive, and the more uncomfortable others become.

Lighten up. Relax. I choose to embrace the evolution of language, and stop looking for offense where none is truly given. If everyone chose to do the same, we’d no longer have to ask, “Can’t we all just get along?”

Office Genuine Advantage Notifications is part of Microsoft’s effort to reduce software piracy. Installing this software will help confirm that the copy of Office install on this computer is genuine and properly licensed. If the copy of Office installed on the computer is not genuine, the software will provide periodic reminders to help you take appropriate action and protect yourself from security threats posed by counterfeit software.

More information for this update can be found at http://www.microsoft.com/genuine/

That’s awesome, isn’t it? They just want to protect me from the security threats posed by counterfeit software. How big of them. It’s not like they put this on every computer running their software so they can find pirates and grab every cent that’s due them.

I’m not saying that Micro$haft doesn’t deserve to be paid. They provide an adequate product for the most part, and most people use it, like it or not. Making money means they get to make more minor improvements and release more versions of their product at inflated prices so they can make some more minor improvements and release more versions of their product at even further inflated prices.

I don’t use pirated software. I buy what I need from legitimate resellers. And I find it really insulting that, in order to use the software I’ve paid for, I have to let them install all this stuff that just really says, “We don’t trust you, and we’re doing everything in our power to watch your every move.”

Hey Micro$lop, stop telling me it’s for my own protection. Be honest and say you’re watching your own bottom line. You’re installing your little piece of spyware to make sure I don’t steal from you. The double-speak makes me trust  you even less than you trust me. Treat me like a criminal in my own home, and all those OpenSource (and free) tools keep looking better every day.

Enough reminiscing. I realized recently that I have been doing web development and online marketing for about 14 years. Someone recently said (or I imagined it, whatever) that each year on the internet is worth 27 people years, which means I”m nearly 400 years old. No wonder the bones creak every now and then.

I think I’ll stay on this ride for awhile longer. I like the speed, and the bright lights and pretty bells and whistles amuse me.

Evidently, shepherds have a lot of time on their hands. In this case it’s a wonderful thing.